Love Me For Me

Gena shares her experience with childhood bullying

Love Me For Me

The thought of my girls coming home crying because they had been made fun of at school breaks my heart. This was my reality growing up and I do not wish it on anyone.  I had my great friends, don’t get me wrong…the ones who loved me for me, but I was bullied as a child. There are all different kinds of bullying, not just the typical playground bullying you hear about.

I grew up with a single mom of four children. My mother did an amazing job raising us with what little she had. That being said, we did not have money for the latest clothing trends and sometimes scrambled to have enough for every meal. I was made fun of at school for being “different.” I came home from school many times crying, which hurt my mom so much. Because of this, my whole life I have had pretty low self esteem. I am not good at taking compliments and never look at myself and think, wow, I look good.  I am so lucky to have the husband that I have, as he tells me all the time how beautiful I am. Well and of course, my mom does too…but she’s a tad biased :)

We need to teach our children that we all come from different backgrounds. Not everyone can afford to buy their children that designer pair of jeans. Not all girls want to wear makeup. Some kids love to study and some like to party. We are all different, and that is what makes the world so interesting.

You find as you grow up that it is important to know people from all walks of life… whether it be for your career, for traveling, or even getting together with other parents in play groups with your children.

With social media today, it has gotten even easier to become bullied. With just one click of a button, you can destroy someone’s self esteem or break someone’s heart. We need to think before we click and we also need to teach our children the same.

For those of you out there who are being bullied or have been bullied, be strong.  Be who you are and don’t let anybody take that away from you. This too shall pass and you will become a stronger person because of it.

With much love,

Gena

 

If you are a victim of bullying or know someone who is, visit this web site for information.



 

photo credit: via photopin

Gena

My name is Gena. I am a mother of 2 amazing girls (E ’08 and N ’11). My husband and I have been together for many years and married since 2006. We both work full-time…read more

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About Gena

My name is Gena. I am a mother of 2 amazing girls (E ’08 and N ’11). My husband and I have been together for many years and married since 2006. We both work full-time...read more More Posts

33 Comments to “Love Me For Me”

  1. I was made fun of in school too. I also had good friends but others were not so nice. My son told me that kids have been laughing about the color of his scissors. The are dark blue but I guess they look purple to them. Kids can be so mean. I bought him a new red pair. Hopefully they will make him feel better.

  2. I was also made fun of when I was in elementary and high school. Not fun at all. It has long-lasting effects on people that can carry into adulthood. Unfortunately I don’t think we’ll ever be able to stop bullying but we can certainly keep trying.

  3. Jen and Kim, thanks for your comments! It deff does go into adulthood! We just have to try to protect our children as best as we can and reassure them they are great and it doesn’t matter what others think/say!

  4. We read the book One Hundred Dresses as a family. It sparked some honest conversations from my kids. It’s important to also teach kids how to be brave enough not to be passive when their friends are bullying other kids. We try and teach our kids to always befriend the “new” kid (because I moved from school to school as a child) and we teach them to try and invite someone new to play with their group. We try to teach our kids the importance of being an individual and not to glean their self-world from the world but from Christ. It’s a tough job.

    Stopping by from the SITS Challenge

  5. There is a bully at B’s daycare. B says he has never been mean to him directly. I told B “maybe you can try to teach him to be nice” So it has become his mission. lol! He says “Mommy teaching ‘T’ to be nice is hard work” I pray that my babies never suffer real bullying. I will be heart broken. But I also pray my kids are always kind and never cause another kid to go home in tears.

  6. It is very important to understand that to stop bullying, we have to start at home. Teach our kids to respect and appreciate the differences in others AND show them respect and appreciate their difference. This way we help instill the values in our kids and so they can go out there and influence others. If bad things can happen like wild fire, so will good things! Great post!
    Dropping by from SITS, have a wonderful day!

    • Thanks Jhanis! You are so right how it starts at home! Thanks for the comment!!

    • I completely agree with you Jhanis- we have to start at home to teach our kids to be respectful and it starts with how we ourselves as parents talk about and treat others. I believe that bullying is a learned behavior!

  7. Such an important topic–especially for those of us with daughters. I recently found Amy Poehler’s series of “Smart Girls” videos on YouTube…good stuff.
    #SITs

  8. I grew up in the same way – single mom, very little money, sharing clothes with siblings and needing to use the $.40 hot lunch discounts at school. I promised myself I would never let my kids feel like they weren’t as good as all the other kids out there. I taught them to be grateful for uniqueness. I’m hoping these lessons stick!

  9. I’m so sorry for what you experienced :( I was never really bullied in school. Once in the 2nd grade my very best friend stood up in front of the entire class and yelled at me, “I don’t want to be your friend anymore.” and then literally did not speak to me again until after we graduated highschool. I probably should’ve been devastated but I was just like, “Wow, that was weird.” and got a new friend. She’s friends with me on Facebook now and I often get the itch to message her and ask if she remembers that and what on Earth made her so mad. I hope my daughter never experiences anything like that, though, as I know she’s more sensitive than me and my heart would break for her!

  10. It’s so tough being bullied, and even worse to see your kids suffering.

    Praying for you and your daughters.

  11. I have always been kind of concerned that bullying would happen to my children as they go to school, as they don’t have fancy clothes, or game systems. But my oldest continues to impress me with how okay he is with being different and being himself. In fact this seems to draw other kids to him.
    I’m so sorry for what happened to you. I wish bullying just didn’t happen but it seems to in every generation and with social media it just seems to be getting worse.

  12. I was bullied in school, too. It can really impact your self esteem as an adult! Great post.

  13. Great reminder Gena! I saw a video on YouTube that had people about their normal day at a hospital, above each person was a label that described things they were going through in their personal lives – it was a great reminder not to judge a book by it’s cover because we never know what’s truly going on with other people.

    • Janice that is soooo true! We don’t know what others are going through. And you just never know how just a smile or hello can turn someone’s day around! Thanks :)

  14. It must be so hard to hear that your child has been bullied or teased at school. It must be a very sad and helpless feeling. I remember when my little brother was being picked on at school and this boy even began damaging his stuff. My parents talked to the teachers but nothing changed and I know they must have felt quite helpless. So as his older sister (in third grade at the time) I went and punched the boy (this was an effective if not recommended solution).

    • That is try love Jessica. It’s sad when teachers ignore it. I know not all do but it sure would help! I just want to put my girls in a bubble to protect them.

  15. It is amazing how early it starts. That desire to put another person down. I am dreading the day when one of my kids comes home with their esteem trashed by another kid. Why can’t they see the perfect beings that I see?

  16. I DO NOT look forward to dealing with bullies. I totally agree we need to raise children who are aware of others and have life experiences that make them well-rounded, accepting people. #SITSblogging

  17. I definitely shared the experience being bullied and made fun of and I have definitely carried some of the effects of the words that were said my whole life. Unfortunately I have noticed that the “mean girl” stage doesn’t end with high school or college but I have seen grown, adult women say such nasty and degrading things about each other. Social media definitely makes it bullying easier and more cruel because you can do it anonymously behind a computer screen. Hopefully its a challenge we can all work together to change!

    • Thanks Jamee! You are so right about how it can also carries into adulthood. I am nice to everyone, but I was also raised to treat everyone as equals. It would be awesome if we could change it…it’s a tough one to change though.

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