Haven’t Heard That One Before

A mom grits her teeth as people comment on her large family

Haven’t Heard That One Before

Being a mom to four children 6 years and under, I get all sorts of comments while out and about. I’ve never let the number of children stop me from living my life. We go places, we do things, we eat out at restaurants, and we most certainly have fun while doing it.

Here are some of the most recent personal questions and comments about our large family I have heard:

Are they all yours?”

I’m sure I am quite a spectacle walking through the grocery store pushing the extra long shopping cart with the bench seat on the front and four children hanging on (yes, sometimes they hang from it), but that doesn’t mean you can comment as to whether or not they are all mine. You don’t know me and my situation, so asking a question like that is just rude. I usually smile and say “yes,” but someday I want to shoot back with, “Nope, I like to pick up neighborhood kids to take grocery shopping with me. It’s fun, you should try it some time!”

“You know what’s causing that, right?”

This one always baffles my mind. I would never have the audacity to comment on a stranger’s family size. I always get embarrassed when I hear this question. I don’t typically ask strangers about their sex life, so why should they ask me about mine? My husband likes to tell people that by the time we figured out what was causing it, we were addicted.

“You have your hands full!”

Yes, at the moment my hands are full but we didn’t become a family of 6 overnight. It took years to get where we are and we adjusted to life one baby at a time.

“Wow, 1, 2, 3, 4…that’s a lot!”

Yes, people have actually counted my children. Out loud. In front of me, the woman who birthed each one of them.

“Are you done?”

Does it matter? I don’t rely on you to help me in any way to raise my children, so why does it matter how many I have? It’s not up to me how many children you have, so why would you say something like that to me?

Having only one daughter, and three sons, people will sometimes look at my daughter and say, “Don’t you wish you had a sister?”

Sure, ask the 6 year old which one of her brothers she would trade for a sister now; that’s fair. My daughter wants a sister, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love each of her brothers.

Finally, I think my and my husband’s favorite comment would be the one from an Australian guy visiting our town who spoke to us as we were eating ice cream one summer evening.

Did you plan that?”

When my husband responded “yes” he said, “Good luck with that.”

There were simply no words we could say at that time, so we just laughed.

For the record, I have amazing children. They are almost always well behaved when we are out but, like all kids,  occasionally they are loud or have temper tantrums. I wish I had great one-line comebacks when people say things to me, but most often I smile and nod and just let the comment roll off my back. My children are happy and I wouldn’t change our life for the world!

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My name is Sara and I’m in my early 30s. I’ve been married to my husband for 8 years (’05). Right after our wedding I moved to Michigan to join his side in the ministry. He is very much an extrovert and loves to entertain where I am an introvert and love things quiet and calm…read more

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About Sara

My name is Sara and I’m in my early 30s. I’ve been married to my husband for 8 years (’05). Right after our wedding I moved to Michigan to join his side in the ministry. He is very much an extrovert and loves to entertain where I am an introvert and love things quiet and calm...read more More Posts

5 Comments to “Haven’t Heard That One Before”

  1. Great post Sara. People can be quite rude!

  2. Yeah people have no thought to mouth processing. We get crazy comments from time to time and we only have two! LOL

  3. You know I get the same comments. When I get the “you know what causes that” I just tell them “sure do and we perfected it.” I also get “are you done?” And “you’re done now right” I haven’t come up with a witty remark to that one but I like to tell them “if it’s meant to be then it will be and if I want more I can do it it’s my choice”. People have no tact these days and it is annoying!

  4. We have three (7, 5, and 3) and even we get ridiculous comments all the time. (Hello? When did THREE kids become A LOT?) My favorite is the people in the grocery store who ask if I picked them up on sale. Or if they are *for* sale. Seriously, WTH? Our first two are girls and the youngest is a boy, so we get the “you’re done now, right” as well. Sigh.

  5. Cheryl Salamanca // March 2, 2014 at 10:38 am // Reply

    I have three children. I had them in 3.5 years. I would get comments like that also. I just do not get it why people make those comments. I even heard things like, why don’t you get a baby sitter, etc. I was lucky enough to stay home with them and I would get flack about that also. “What do you do all day. You are wasting your brain taking care of three kids, etc. I am so happy I had those kids and took them all the places that we took them and watched them grow into the wonderful adults that they have become. Regrets, never. The time went way to fast. One is now married. As of tomorrow they are 28, 29, and 31. I love them. I also have a new daughter, a daughter in law. Now I have four kids.

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